Bereavement

What practical things need to be done if there's a death?

- When someone dies a doctor must be called to sign a medical certificate.

- When someone dies in hospital or a hospice, the doctor there will give you a medical certificate.

- If the death has been sudden, the doctor will have to talkto the police who will report it to the coroner. A post mortem examination may be arranged.

-Once you have the medical certificate, you must take it to the register office and register the death within 5 days. You may need to make an appointment to do this. The registrar will issue a death certificate and a certificate for burial or cremation, which should be given to a funeral director. Ask for a few copies (6-10) of the death certificate. You will have to pay for these copies but you may need them for pension and insurance purposes. The registrar may giveyou details of the "Tell us once facility", if it is available in your area. This really helpful service informs all government departments of the death instead of you contacting them one by one.

- A funeral director can be chosen before or after going to the register office. Most people obtain a name from the phone directory. He/She will advise on the procedures of the funeral.

- Contact your local departmentof work and pensions (DWP) to arrange pension and other entitlements. You may be eligible for funeral payment or widow's payment.

- Inform the tax office about your changed circumstances.

- You may want to puta death notice inthe local or national papers.

- If there's a will, executors will make sure it'scarried out. Contact the solicitor. If there's no will, contact the Probate Registry for an application to administer the "estate". Your local Citizen's Advice Bureau can help if you're not sure.

Understanding Grief...

How do people feel when they have experenced a bereavement?

Serious loss is something we all face at some times in our lives. This may be because of a death that we were close to or it may be because of other circumstances.

Many of us will not experience bereavement or los until later in life and may have little opportunity oflearning about death and how people are affected by grief. It can be difficult to know what is "normal" and tounderstand how we or our families will respond when faced with a loss.

You may thinkyou are the only person who has felt the way you do. Whilst everyone's response to a loss is a very individual experience, there are some common experiences that many people will share.

How do people feel in the hours or days after a loss of a relative or friend?

People often described the symptoms of shock soon after the death of a loved one. Some people find themselves unabe to cope, and need a lot of practical and emotional support from those around them at this point.

Pleaseremembereveryone is different. There really are no "rights" or "wrongs" when someone experience grief.

When do people begin to recover from bereavement?

Coming to terms with a death is a very gradual process which can take a considerable length of time.People usually find that gradually they are able to move on with their lives and think a little less about the person they have lost. Counselling can be immensly helpful for many people who are bereaved.

It is important not to feel guilty if you are beginning to bulid a life for yourself following a death. It is quite normal to to begin to recover and rebuild your life, and it's not in anyway disloyal to the memory of the person who has passed away.

If you feel you are stuck or not coping well at all with your grief then contact your doctor and discuss this.

What can a bereaved person or facing the certain loss of a loved one to help themselves?

Before someone dies

- If you have theopportunity, prepare for the death of someone you are close to. It is important emotionally and practically to talk things over.If you are preparing for the death, Say everything you want to say to them.

- Accept practical help if offered. It is sometimes hard to look after yourself when you are caring for someone else. So if friends offer to shop,cook,clean for you say yes please!

- Don't be afraid to ask for help. People are usually only too glad to help.

Directly after the bereavement

- Carefully considerwhether you want to see the body of the deceased person. It may be very distressing but some people regret it if you choose not to.Follow your feelings. There is no right or wrong thing to do. But remember to think it through thoroughly.

- Funeral arrangements should be considered very carefully. Try to have someone with you. Don't feel pressured into a funeral that's too expensive for your budget. Try and think about what you want.

In the days, weeks and months following a bereavement

- Do make sure you look after your own health. This is the time when you may become prone to illness. Eat well, rest properly, take extra care. You may find it helpful to take vitamins if your appetite is poor. Visit your doctor if your health isn't good.

- Do talk to people about how you feel. Go to your doctor if you feel like you have no one to talk to.They may suggest speaking to a counsellor.

- Please do ask for help if you're not coping.

- Do keep up contacts and relationships. Accept invitations, invite people to visit, keep in touch with family and friends. Find out about any clubs, local events and classes.

- Do plan what you will do on avniversaries and birthdays, christmas, anniversary of death. It will help ifyou decide to organise these occasions in advance as they're more likely to be emotional.

- Don't make any major changes in your life, such as selling your house, moving areas, jobs etc, until you've had time to adjust to the death. This is a time when people may make changes theycan regret.

Don't enter into a new financial arrangements without proper advise. Talk to you local Citizens Advice and other organisations.

- Don't rely on drinking alcohol to help you recover from thisverydifficult time.

- Please don't bottle things up, it isn't healthy and it can make things worse.

Thank you for reading and please stay safe x